Nursing Haikus

Friday, 22 January 2010

I have been working on nursing haikus and here are some of the ones I posted on Twitter:

Bend over, touch toes!
Your first prostate exam may
give you quite a shock

Nursing school Day 1
"Don't accept a grape or sweet
from a patient's hand"

You are on traction
keep hands above the duvet
at all times or else!

Some patients you will
always remember. Like Dot
that poo'd on my head

You've had picolax
don't walk from the commode
or you'll be sorry

Doctors' writing is
like the last series of Lost,
sometimes it makes sense

Renal cholic helps
men understand what childbirth
feels like (probably)

Shaving your own pubes
is always better pre-op
if you are able

Pee in this pot here
to show your current lover
that you care for them

is too many syllables
to use in haiku

A warm smile is like
KY Jelly. It makes nursing
tasks go more smoothly


Dave Dawes 22 January 2010 at 10:51  

And from @studentnurse

Night shifts make me sad / I'm trying to cook a meal / not a good effort.

During CPR / be aware things may emerge / from the patients mouth

Hello? Portering? / I've got another transfer / To Rose Cottage, please.

Upper GI bleed / is something I do not want / ever in my life

Hello, I'm your nurse / Shall I get you a commode / For your stool sample?

Lie on your side please / I am very sorry, this / is an enema

Just open wide please / while I have a look at your / Cervix. Just relax.

Nurses jobs include / Saving lives and other things / Like clearing up shit

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